Thank you all so much for your kind comments about my dealing the opportunistic MLM blogger. You know I must feel passionate about something to write more than 100 words!! Because of both my work with pediatric oncology patients and personal experience of losing a brother at 24 years old due to cancer, this whole issue really brought out my protective Mama Bear instinct. Thank you all again for the props, mucho appreciado.
I rarely get the opportunity to let folks know (politely of course!) that they are Not Making Good Choices!! Like these few examples of Dear Loser Letters-
Dear Fellow Forty-Something Baseball Team Mom,
I understand low cut jeans and hot pink thongs are the height of fashion. Please be aware of the effect of this combination when you lean or bend forward.
I have never seen my son's eyes open quite so Wide.
Signed, Not a Fan of Butt Floss
Dear Fellow Sixty-Something Baseball Team Grandpa-
We all appreciate it's 95 degrees during the game and you are trying to cope by wearing a tank top tshirt on your grandfatherly figure. Your ample mane of thick, swirly, dark body hair on your ample girth is too insulating for the sleeveless tshirt to be helpful.
It does however remind me I need to take the kids to the zoo this summer.
Signed, Not a Fan of Wife Beater Tshirts
Dear Moron Cigarette Smoker-
I understand you are an adult and you can smoke in your car while driving. Cars nowadays come equipped with an ashtray. Southern California is in a drought with tinderbox dry conditions. Please explain why you must flick your lit cigarette out the window.
Signed, Getting your License Plate Next Time
Addendum for Momma Val- (see I take requests)
Dear Mr.Clueless,
We all know how busy and important you are. This is to inform you the door the very pregnant lady was holding open wasn't intended for you, but for her toddler. Not you. Shocking I know as there really is no one else in the Universe. Now, tell me how I can contact your mother so I can slap her for Not Teaching You Any Manners!
Signed, You Should Be Ashamed
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18 comments:
God Martha,
Again you have made my morning! You completely rock and next time I have a situation or need to write a letter to some ignorant SOB, you are the person I am going to for advice. I love the butt floss one. EWWWWWW! Why do women in their 40's do that? Is it because the childbearing years were hard on them and by the age of 40 something you want to feel attractive, sexy and young again? I don't get it. I would like to write a letter to the jerk that scurries in front of the pregnant woman holding the door open for her toddler . . . . thanx buddy! People are morons :)
ooooh... lemmie tell you- a day or so ago and 60ish yr old lady (i swear that was her age) came in my studio and had a tight tight sequiny tank on- tight jeans- and neon blue thongs she had pulled waaaaaay over those tight jeans... i was all "vomit in my mouth"!!!
Haha! Hilarious!!
hahahah !!!! you are too funny!!!!!
Great loser letters Martha!
I'm shuddering thinking of the old guy in his wife beater shirt.
I HATE it when smokers flick their butts out the car.
You are really good at these! I'm going to start doing them in my head, too.
So funny!
Sorry about that visible pink thong. *ahem*
LOL
Pink butt floss needs to know it's place :)
Ok, that's it. You are going to be inundated with requests now...get ready to be writing countless more witty replies!
Hi Martha *waving wildly*!
Just making the rounds for the first time in weeks and of course, you didn't disappoint! Love the Dear Loser letters!! Especially the last one!
These are my FAVORITEST posts ever. I freaking adore open letters... they're always hilarious!
Butt floss, wife beaters, Mr. Universe, and cigarettes? Sounds like a country song...
Love those letters!
I've actually told smokers who have dropped their butts on the ground, "Excuse me, but I think you dropped something." When they give me a nasty look I say "littering is illegal and my 2 year old even knows that it's wrong."
Oh, and I finally got awards and tag done...
Stop by my place when you get a chance for some!
Have you been following me around? I think I've seen these same things around town lately!
Me again.
Hope you don't mind awards, I just posted one for you over at my blog!
I love the letters! You tell them. Hubs was thisclose to telling an old guy that his "coin slot" aka butt crack was hanging out as he hung over the bank's counter. I can't believe that people don't know when their extra flesh is exposed.
BTW tagged you @ my place!
Some how I missed the first post - I went back and read it. I admire the fact that you wrote back and clearly stated the facts. Most people would hit delete or write something rude. Kudos to you!
And your loser letters make me LOL. The truth is the funniest thing and I've seen each of these people unfortunately.
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