It has been gray and dreary here these last few days with strong storms coming down from Alaska. Winter is the rainy season in Southern California. The rain reminds me of my "Repair Guy" Alex who died in an accident on the slick roads last winter. Like most homeowners, once you find a "Repair Guy" that is good, reliable, trustworthy, and knowledgeable, you are breathing easier knowing you have a partner to help with the things that inevitably break down. Alex was there to help ever since we bought our house twelve years ago. Alex nursed my old washing machine back to health and gently broke the news when it was time to let it go. He tuned up the furnace and easily diagnosed and fixed our tempermental refrigerator. We got to know each other through our intermittent visits to keep this 40 year old house running. He saw my kids get bigger and I learned about how he moved to the United States from the Ukraine twenty years ago and about his wife and son. We had a bond.
I didn't find out Alex had died until last summer when I called his office to schedule a repair. The man who answered the phone became choked up and told me that he was sorry he would have to send someone else out as Alex had been killed in an accident in the rain last winter. I burst into tears, the loss of this young man struck me so hard and I was overwhelmed for quite a few minutes. I apologized for my emotional outburst and expressed my sympathy for Alex's family and coworkers.
A friend who also had Alex as their repairman had a similar reaction as me upon learning of his death. I thought, "Gee, we were just customers of a serviceman. Why this level of emotion?" I realized that it's not the quantity of the relationship per se, but the quality. That this person and I had a genuine connection and caring, and like ripples in the water, it touched my heart and spirit. I think of Alex's wife and young son and how they must miss him. I am not ashamed to say I miss him, not because of his work, but because of who he was and how he treated me, kindly, patiently, and warmly.
Rest In Peace, Alexander. Thank you. (Отдых в мире, Alesander. Спасибо.)
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12 comments:
This reminds me of an episode of Desperate Housewives a few weeks ago. Their neighborhood handyman passed away and every single neighbor felt the blow just because of the man he was....I realize yours is IRL, but still. It helps me understand your situation.
God Bless Alex.
What a nice tribute to this man.
We are all connected, after all. It's great that you "get" that.
Wow! I never had an experience like this, but I understand exactly how you feel. He sounds like he was a wonderful person. So sorry for his wife and kids.
So sorry for the loss of a friend.
Hugs
I so know what you mean. I get attached to people in my life/world even when we are not really close friends. Like I will connect with a nice person at a store and then talk to them every time I go. Then one day I ask where they have been and it turned out they moved or changed jobs. Not that that is even comparable to somebody dying yet they were people that you made a friendly connection with and then they're gone. It's sad. I'm sorry for your loss. I even think some times how it is very sad that we do form some nice blog friendships with people that you will most likely never meet. Attached but yet detached at the same time.
my grandmother was never the same after her long time handyman died. the person who helps you take care of your house serves almost a sacred function, although we don't tend to see it that way. i think this is why there's such a rush of emotion... this person knew the intimate workings of where we quite literally live and so in some way know the intimate workings of us. it is a relationship that is to be treasured and cherished and honored. we just found such a person, and believe me, i am honored and grateful he has offered to take us and this place on.
what a wonderful tribute
peace Alex
oh I got all choked up too. I see myself in him, being transplanted in another country and adapting to the culture. I'm so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to his family.
It just goes to show that no matter what line of work you're in, you have the capacity to make a difference and improve someone else's life each and every day. Why do I forget this all the time?
Thanks for this reminder.
Aww, you make me want to cry!!
People come into our lives for so many reasons and then they're gone - but at least they are remembered.
A girl I had gone to junior high and high school with was murdered in a mall shooting 2 years ago. I found myself surfing the website her husband started and hasn't updated in a long time a few days ago and I didn't know why. Tertiary mourning of course.
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