It Takes a Suburb

In Africa, in the villages of Kijita (Wajita), there is a proverb which says 'Omwana ni wa bhone,' meaning regardless of a child's biological parent(s), its upbringing belongs to the community. This proverb recognizes the concept of humans as social creatures and is not a threat to parental authority, but instead supports it. This is anthropology 101, we are not raising our kids on some isolated island like the movie, Castaway, or the book, Lord of The Flies.

When our sons can express themselves politely and clearly to people of all ages, that's a village.

When I express my concern to another parent about seeing their child do something unsafe, that's a village.

To teach your child to respect their coach, teacher, or elder is giving them a gift, whether it takes place in an actual village in Africa or a suburb in Los Angeles.

I don't know want to know more about someone else's child than the parent does. It's not always pleasant, not always easy, but it's necessary.

Several years ago, my neighbor's 16 year old son was teaching the younger kids how to burn bugs with a magnifying glass. (Can you say, Serial killer in the making?) The only thing burning after I was done with him were his ears, face, and neck from shame.

About a year ago, this 16 y/o's younger brother "borrowed" my son's skateboard and conveniently told his mom that my son gave it to him. I disabused the mother of that notion and the young man also, and now he steers well clear of all of us.

Smart kid.

What does it take to raise the young ones in your neck of the woods?