The Not So Terrible Teens

People including my own Mom and Dad warned me about the "teen years". I certainly know mine were tough, tough, tough for me and my parents with my mother reminding me that she stopped my dad from kicking me out of the house when I was 14 y/o. Gee, thanks, Mom, I do appreciate it and I guess I didn't realize it at the time, I was thisclose to becoming a ward of the state or worse, homeless. I guess I had forgotten in the intervening 34 years since my hellish youth, what an eff up I was, and that my parents, especially my Dad, who I always held in the highest esteem, was really ready to throw in the towel. My mother reminded me of this over our recent Thanksgiving dinner when she marveled at how "together you are now when you were such a messed up kid." Lovely holiday dinner conversation, no?

My crappy choices as a teen gave me serious schooling and I paid attention. As my dear friend, Kris says, "We know what it walks like, talks like, and smells like, we're not in the dark like our parents who had no clue." Even though I can't change my past decisions and journey, including all the pain and tough lessons, I don't think I would if I could. I have been tempered by the fire, traveled the hard road of insight, making amends, and been introduced to the healing effects of change and empathy. I also realized that part of my mom's difficulty in reconciling the person I was then, with who I am Now, is her lack of ownership or taking responsibility in my teen hell. Even though I was still at my childhood home, I was on my own, which gave me the gift of self reliance and independence, but it certainly carried a very High Price.

Someone should have warned my parents about the teen years, and also told them, hey, you didn't have it that Bad- I never got arrested, held back in school, or WORSE.

It is always startling and hurtful when those like our family, maintain a current image of you focused on the past, instead of the present. I hope and will work to let my boys know, that I cherish them not only for who they are as children, but also the adults they are becoming. Even when we butt heads, I know, (the hard way of course!), this is part of the journey as they transition from boys into men.

Thank you for sharing in my thoughts, teen angst and all.

Song Inspired Post

Cha Cha Cha Changes... This last week my new couches finally arrived after 5 months, dozens of phone calls, repicking of fabric, and a switch of sales rep with free delivery and no sales tax thrown in because I can be quite persuasive. They are beautiful and I will plan to post a picture along with our holiday decorations soon.

I must have met my wierdo quotient because I finally sold my old minivan for a Fair Price! I sold it to the ODDEST People we have ever met, (And believe me, we've met some Whackadoodles with me working as nurse and my husband who lived in Alaska for many years.) They were like something from a movie, with ill kempt clothing and Just A Strange demeanor. The lady who bought the car made me a necklace so I wouldn't forget her. Don't worry I won't, it's not everyday I meet someone who drives around for six weeks with the back window of their van busted out And who dresses like a homeless person, but Isn't. The necklace was made with a shoestring in which quite a few of her hairs were caught in the knot. Nice.

Hi Ho Hi Ho, It's Off to Vegas I go to meet in person, a long time dear, dear blog friend, Mrs.Spit and her hubby. We are going out to a wonderful restaurant, Mix at THe HoTEL at Mandalay Bay, tomorrow night and then off to see the Hoover Dam on Saturday. I am excited but worried, will I live up to my bloggy self? It's a blind date, let's face it, but it's going to be GREAT!! Cannot Wait!!

Well, it's time for me to Put On My Sunday Clothes and wish you a wonderful weekend and Thank you for your visit.

The Gifts of Change

Thank you all so much for your support, smiles, and sound insight re. my extraordinarily self indulgent post about this year's ChristMess. Sometimes, or very often actually, you really have to hit the wall to make some changes and I think this year did the trick for our family. I remember going to a Tony Robbins seminar twenty years ago and learning that people are motivated to change either to seek pleasure or escape pain. As you can see, I'm still learning. And I am delighted to say after several heartfelt discussions with my husband, Changes Are Afoot for any and all celebrations. So thank you again.

I am not an ungrateful boob and I do enjoy the company of our friends and neighbors, but I am owning the fact that if I can't give of something freely and for the sole pleasure of Giving, (which I frequently am lucky enough to experience), then I Ain't Doing It. Whew, that's feels good. Okay, therapy session over.

I would like to share of the abundance I was privileged to receive:

Our oldest son turning to me on December 23rd as we are trying to finish decorating the tree and saying, "Mom, we have enough ornaments on the tree, it looks great."

At work, a new patient expressing appreciation for my clinical support.

Reminding my husband who was fussing about me and the boys petsitting over Christmas for a friend and widow that this is what Christmas is about.

Our family having a lovely afternoon at the Aquarium of The Pacific in Long Beach and a great dinner at the Mandarin Chateau in Chinatown.

Enjoying the support, sharing, and wisdom of my blogging buddies.