Crazy Lady on our Street

No matter where you live, there is always a "crazy lady" in the neighborhood, and we are no exception.

This elderly woman lives in a four bedroom house all by herself with no family or friends visiting, ever.

According to some long time residents, she was run out of her last neighborhood about a dozen years ago because of her busybodiness. (Or is that busybodyness???)

Crazy Lady recently counted the number of crepe myrtle trees in our housing tract, (95 if you care to know), and called the City to complain that only 4 out of the 95 were blooming. She has been blacklisted by the City staff and is No Longer Allowed to call them. Yes, Really. She must deal exclusively with our homeowners association about her "concerns".

Crazy Lady, instead of asking her next door neighbors to trim, and rake the leaves from their tree that fell into her yard, gathered all the leaves up, and dumped them over the fence into the next door neighbors' yard.

I saw Crazy Lady late the other evening, riding her bike with no light, on our dark street. I commented on this as I greeted her. She then proceeded to ask me some medical questions about an upcoming heart procedure she is going to have. I answered them as best as I could, and wished her well and "Good Night".

The next morning I was in my front garden doing some pruning before the heat of the day. She was across the street in her driveway with her bike when she yelled across to me from a distance of some 45 feet,- Did I think it was going to rain and should bikes be put away? I looked at the collection of dark clouds in the Southern sky and replied- "Yes, that's a good idea, I'm going to put my bike away, it might sprinkle". She then proceeded to scream at me, "I don't like the way you talk to me, you are very inappropriate and disrespectful. You talk to me like a child, first telling me not to ride my bike at night, and then telling me to put my bike away."

I have always been polite to Crazy Lady, and was one of the very last people on our block who hasn't "gotten into it" with her, so I was taken aback, and said, "What are you talking about? You asked me about the bikes. This is a misunderstanding..." I walked over to the sidewalk in front of her house, lowered my voice, and said, "I am not yelling at you, there is no need to scream at me". She then continued to rant and rave about how I disrespected her age, think I know it all because I am a RN, treat her like a child. I had had Enough. My New Jersey roots reared up, I ripped into her about how "Everyone thinks She is Nuts and Now I do Too!" She knows how to dish it out, but Not Take it, because she told me to "Shut Up". (Such a brillant comeback, Not!!) I told her that she could do Us All a Favor and ride her bike, at night, on the Interstate. Also, that her heart condition was Obviously interfering with the circulation to her brain. She was ill equipped to deal with my unique version of "an open can of whoop-a$$".

I now know why her last husband dropped dead on her several years ago, it was the only way he could make his escape. It will take restraint on my part, not to remind her of this fact, if she decides to try and cross blades with me ever again.

How are the crazies in your neck of the woods? Quiet these days? Or stirring the pot?